Fear is an emotion that does not understand ages. Both children and adults are afraid of something: they, perhaps of things like being alone at home or the dark, and the elderly, of failing at work or, of being bad parents. How to help children face their fears? How to ensure that our fears do not affect their development and personality? If you want more about this emotion, do not miss what Marga Santamaría, educational coach and pedagogue, told us within the II Encounter #ConectaConTuHijo, organized by our site
Fear is part of the development of children and parents have to learn that to help them cope with these feelings and that they do not become, in the future, something phobic or a disorder and that, consequently, in some way make your life difficult.
There is no magic trick, but it is true that the best thing we can do to help our son overcome his fears is to be with him by his side, accompany him in the appearance, development and outcome of this emotion. And it is that if we legitimize and value that fear and make the child understand that it is something that is within him, as it is in the parents, grandparents and uncles, it will be easier to work with it and, on everything, overcome it, which is our great goal.
Another thing parents can do is listen and ask, something that perhaps due to lack of time, stress and fatigue we do not do as often as we would like. How about you go to your son and tell him if he needs something, if he needs something or if you can do something for him? It is not about 'getting it done', but it is, in a way, about working together and side by side to find a solution.
A third gesture that parents can make and that they will value a lot is that let us look them in the eyes with much love. Probably when they feel fear or anguish, their heart has surely been able to accelerate and with this attitude of affection towards them they will see in us a reference to calm down.
Parents have to get out of our heads the idea that our children have to 'overcome their fears' and think about how we can help them to know and recognize them in order to work with them. And it is that knowing and recognizing is the great step that we must do and it is something that we can apply both to fear and to other emotions.
Each child, depending on his age, will have a fear of something certain. For example, babies up to six months are frightened when they hear a strange noise or when something falls to the ground. Before the end of the year, children fear being separated from their mother and any unknown being who tries to make them funny.
From the age of two, children's characters such as clowns or Santa Claus can become a nightmare for these children. And until they are four years old, another common fear can be large animals or storms and, of course, the dark.
In the childhood and elementary school years, the most common fears are loneliness and abandonment, they do not like being alone at all and some do not want to go to sleep somewhere other than their home! And when they are about to reach 10 years of age, the fear of school failure or rejection by others becomes a constant.
And now that we know what the attitude and behavior of parents should be when faced with the fear of their children and what are the most common fears of children according to their age, it is time to take action, that is, to put The practice of those tools that transmit calm and peace to the kids at a time like going to bed.
- Dream Catcher
These objects were created by the Sioux to capture the nightmares children had when they slept. It is assumed that in the network those bad dreams remain locked. If your child is scared at night, you can get one and put it at the head of his bed or on the door.
- Have an object of attachment
What child has not had or continues to have an attachment object? That doll or that little bear that gives you security and allows you to 'be accompanied' during the night. For some, it also serves as company when they go on a trip or even put it in their school backpack.
- Magic spray
Some mothers have 'magic spray' at home to remove nightmares. Put a little bit in your little one's room just before he goes to sleep and the little one will happily sleep through the night. Do you dare to try it?
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