The end of the year is approaching for many students. After a long course it is time to make a final effort and be able to enjoy the holidays. However, before that you have to pass the dreaded final exams. Many children will cope with confidence and assurance, others with fear and anxiety, and a few with little enthusiasm for the feeling that they will fail.
To ensure that children have good grades, many parents turn to a reinforcement system based on gifts, but is it good incentivize children with prizes to get good grades?
Many parents tend to offer their children a gift or a reward if they get good grades. However, far from having a positive result this type of attitudes, can have a negative effect on the child.
There are families with school-age children who stay home some weekends because they are punished because your children have failed an exam.As a result, the whole family is left with no plans. In contrast, the children have game consoles or have traveled to Disneyland Paris because at some point they got good grades.
But what is appropriate? Give your children rewards for getting good grades or punish them if they get bad results? To draw some conclusions, on our site we asked the opinion of our collaborating psychologists and pedagogues. And the answer from all of them is clear.
If we reward a child for a good grade, the next occasion he will ask for a bigger gift and so on. If, on the contrary, we have promised a gift for finishing the course without any failure and that is not fulfilled, the child's feeling of failure and frustration will increase, because not even with a stimulus he managed to pass.
Experts advise praise, praise, clap, and congratulate our children when they get positive results in school, but never buy them with gifts. The student's job is to study and we have to recognize their merits and support them in their failures, always avoiding that the end goal is a gift or a prize.
It does not hurt, in any case, if the child has brought good grades, celebrate it with your favorite dinner, make a cake to enjoy as a family to your health or go out to see a movie that you like.
The experts they also do not recommend punishing children when they get bad grades. First of all, punishment (and much less physical punishment) is not a pedagogical tool that works in the long term. It is true that it can change a behavior that is occurring at this moment (for example, 'if you don't stop hitting your brother, I will punish you' and the child stops hitting his brother). However, if what we want is for the child to change a behavior, punishment is not the most effective remedy.
The same thing happens with bad grades. Not by punishing children without seeing their friends, without a birthday party or without playing the game console, we are going to get better grades in the next assessment, the next exam or the next course. And, it is possible that at the moment in which we give them the penalty they feel bad (does it work for children to feel bad to educate them?) And they propose to try harder next time. However, if we don't suggest another form of reflection, they won't stay motivated for long.
So if children come home with poor grades, follow these tips:
- Don't punish, but don't yell at them either
Just as punishment is useless, it will not help if we give children a yell. This attitude will make children suffer even more from poor school performance and even feel like failures.
- Finding the cause of poor grades
We should ask the children what they think is behind these bad grades and what we can do to reverse the situation. It is also time to talk to our son's teachers. We cannot forget that communication between parents and teachers is very important throughout the course.
There can be many causes behind poor results: that children have not been able to concentrate, that they have not tried hard enough, learning problems, emotional conflicts, that they are not comfortable with their peers, etc.
- Show affection and build self-esteem
One of the consequences of poor grades is that children see their self-esteem diminished. Therefore, it is important that parents show them love and support at this time. Instead of distancing ourselves from our son and blaming him for poor results, we should come together to face the situation and seek solutions together.
- Motivate children to try harder
This is the time to teach children that a lot can be learned from the mistakes we make and that we must motivate ourselves to keep striving to achieve the goals we set for ourselves.
Sometimes parents we place excessive importance on school grades of our children. When they come with bad results, it seems that the world is going to end; And when they bring good grades, we feel like the proudest parents in the universe. But is it really fair that we base how we feel about our little ones on what they put on their report card?
We cannot forget that the marks are numerical quantifications that try to assess what the children have learned during the course or if they have met the expectations that were expected of them. However, they do not always reflect all the effort and enthusiasm that our children have put into a subject. That is why the notes must always be analyzed from a relative point of view and, above all, we have to be fair with our children.
Every child (even every adult) has different skills and abilities. Some are good at math, others at writing or English. But there will also be someone who is an expert in helping people, dancing or caring for animals. And all of these skills are not reflected in their report cards. Therefore, we cannot let our children feel like failures if they get bad results, because they are not taking into account the skills that they are good at.
At this point, it is interesting to study the conclusions expressed by the article published in the magazine Sophia of the Salesian Polytechnic University of Ecuador entitled 'Qualifications as an obstacle to the development of thought' (written by Jorge Villarroel). He explains that the desire to always obtain the best grades makes students stop thinking and being creative, because their only objective is to meet the points that will lead them to have good grades. Furthermore, grades seldom assess students' intellectual abilities. Although this refers to university education, his reflections can be extrapolated to students of different ages.
Also, for a child to get good grades, it doesn't mean I'm a good person (neither that it will be in the future) nor that it be happy. Therefore, what is more important: that the children have good school results or that they learn and be happy? There is the reflection.
You can read more articles similar to Awards for good grades from children. Yes or no, in the category of School / College on site.